Fast Zombies working out.

I normally get my running in outside, but since my wife has decided to take up my masochistic habit, we’ve been working out at the local YMCA. So the other day I’m plugging away on my treadmill, listening to random goodness on my MP3 player. I’ve started breaking a sweat and my muscles are warm, so I crank the speed. Queue Rob Zombie’s “Living Dead Girl.”

Someone finishes on the machine in front of me and a new person climbs aboard. She starts the treadmill spinning. She sets the incline and holds on to the bar ahead of her. This is nothing new, you see this strange workout form every time you enter a workout club. I personally don’t understand it, but that’s a discussion for another day.
Anyway, so Rob Zombie’s pumping, and the woman in front of me is walking uphill. But then she increases the speed, and suddenly she’s bouncing through an awkward trot, suddenly I see a stumbling, arms raised, flesh hungry fast zombie. Suddenly I nearly kill myself as I burst into laughter.
Queue internal Shaun of the Dead dialog.
“Why’d she bite you?”
After regaining my composure I realize I’m thirsty.
Requeue Shaun as the woman continues to bounce through her fast zombie workout: “Can I get any of your cunts a drink?”

At any rate, this went on for another mile or so. I believe it’s the first time uncontrollable laughter has ended a workout for me.


About glenkrisch

Writer, freelance editor, runner, family man, wanna-be farmer, neo-luddite
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